I'm not responsible for:

dry skin, overcooked steak, particle board, lampreys, the designated hitter rule, kleptomania, rusty nails, whinging, tomfoolery, nanotechnology, silverfish, the Moral Majority, deodorant body spray, lederhosen, the defenestrations of Prague, postmodernism, tubas, and the popping sounds that your knees make when you stand up.