Pirates On Dinosaur Island

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Dragons and Pendragons

Dragons and Pendragons

Heroic or medieval fantasy has never had an easy time on the Tube.   The related genres of horror and urban fantasy have done just fine:  Thriller, Twilight Zone, Buffy are the most obvious examples.   But the particular problems of filming a fantastic world - costumes, SFX, elaborate sets - have led to sword and sorcery of the low budget camp variety, such as  Xena: Warrior Princess or Merlin.

That we now have two shows dealing with medieval fantasy that actually have large budgets is due to two trends; the critical and financial success of cable adult oriented drama series such as Deadwood and the The Wire, and the terrifyingly lucrative Lord of the Rings series in cinema.   Not only did Peter Jackson demonstrate how much cash could be made in the heroic fantasy genre, he also used special effects in an unprecedented way to make the world and creature building affordable.

HBO’s Game of Thrones and Showtime’s Camelot are both fairly large budget fantasy series that have some points in common; intrigue over rulership of a warring land, sweeping shots of real and CGI landscapes, nudity (mostly of the nubile female variety), sudden violence, and as a sign of the dark ages none but the prettiest of the leads use hair conditioner.  The series part ways in content, writing, and direction.

Camelot often seems to be shot with a shaky cam - as if hand-held cameras provide verisimilitude in the fifth century A.D.  The sets vary from fairly convincing to a village in the first episode which resembled a low budget renaissance faire.  The CGI castles have those Ridley Scott style CGI birds fluttering around them.  The dialogue is often a bit too modern.  And the acting varies wildly.  Joseph Cambell Bower’s Arthur and Peter Mooney’s Kay play as if they have a real relationship.  Joseph Fein’s Merlin often speaks in short growly sentences of one word. At. A. Time. Like. This.  His quiet noshing on the scenery should be more fun than it is, and it isn’t.  The standout is Eva Green as Morgan.   She’s found the exact right tone in the midst of the hyperbolic action going on around her, and even her overacting appears calculated to manipulate the characters around her, rather than the audience.  If the show were better, she would be looking at an Emmy nod.

Continued Here

Octogenarians on the Bridge

A few weeks ago, on March 22^nd, William Shatner turned 80, followed closely by Leonard Nimoy, who had his 80^th birthday on March 26^th.  A reminder to science fiction fans who remember the original Star Trek series, or watched it in syndication, of our own aging, and a reminder as well of how long science fiction has found fans on the tube.  This also may be a marker of how little we’ve progressed with science fiction on TV.

Shatner, ubiquitous, often ironically egotistical, strangely charismatic, much parodied, is obviously now a TV icon.  His career on the fantastic screen began with a role in an episode of the Twilight Zone in 1960 titled “The Nick of Time,” which was fantasy.  In 1963 he starred in one of the classic science fiction TZs “Nightmare At 20,000 Feet” as an aviophobe who spends a terrified flight watching a gremlin tear apart the wing engine of his plane.  It’s a touchstone of TV horror, and it’s an excellent performance by Shatner. (And yes, the gremlin looks sort of like a tele-tubby on the Twilight Zone DVD - a result of the DVD makers brightening the image too much.  Turn down your brightness and turn up the contrast when viewing.) Shatner also starred in The Outer Limits episode “Cold Hands, Warm Heart.” In this fairly limp entry of the usually excellent anthology series Shatner plays an astronaut who has been possessed by a Venusian, who resembles a giant Sea Monkey, and is saved by a sauna and the power of love...

The rest HERE.

All About the Zombies -- The Walking Dead

In the first sequence of the first episode of The Walking Dead, deputy sheriff Rick Grimes (Andrew Lincoln) is searching abandoned cars along a deserted road for gasoline when he spots a little girl moving among the vehicles.  He calls out to her, and she approaches, a zombie child, bloody, torn face, exposed teeth, and pale eyes - moppet as monster.  She staggers towards him hungrily and Grimes, wincing, shoots her in the head.  It’s a graphic and bloody scene, and one of the most shocking cold opens in the history of T.V.  It contains so many of the elements of the zombie genre - the isolation of a last human, the post-apocalyptic landscape scattered with abandoned artifacts of human existence, the search for resources, the monster as someone we would normally protect, and the breaking of social taboos.   The unease of seeing taboos subverted - cannibalism on the side of the zombies, almost all other social conventions on the side of the humans - is a chief appeal and an important source of unease in the zombie narrative.


The rest of this column is HERE.

The Art of Fantasy and Science Fiction Interdisciplinary Study

Widgets and Wizards: The Art of Science Fiction and Fantasy

Instructor: Mark Edwards

Science fiction and fantasy are sister genres -- at their best both focus on the impact of the fantastic or otherworldly on the human experience.  These genres tap into a sense of storytelling wonder and mystery.  At the heart of fantastic fiction is the question, "What if?"  What if we could teleport?  What if vampires really existed?  What if we had a pill that made everyone happy?  

The writer of speculative or fantasy stories has a distinct set of challenges, the most obvious of which is how to make the unbelievable believable.  This course will explore the elements of writing otherworldly fiction through readings and analysis of genre classics and current fiction, by developing "what if" speculative and supernatural concepts through research, and through writing stories in either genre. 

Because these genres are wide ranging -- fantasy includes horror as a subcategory, for example -- readings will be assigned based on the student's focus and interests.  There will also be exploration of current SF and fantasy markets as well as focus on avoiding genre clichés. 

The writing of the fantastic requires careful plotting, unique perspectives, and imagination.  Focus on these elements will help with the practice of any genre of storytelling.

Course Outline

Fiction submissions can be short stories, parts of stories, or sections of a novel.

 

• First submission

What if? exercise -- 1-2 pages.

First fiction submission. 8-10 pages.

Story responses to 4 stories from one of the Anthologies.  2 pages.

• Second submission

Second fiction submission.  8-10 pages

Responses to 4 stories from one of the Anthologies.  2 pages.

• Third submission

Third fiction submission based on one the What if? exercis.  8-10 pages

Responses to 4 stories from one of the Author Collections.  2-3 pages.

• Fourth submission

Fourth fiction submission -- rewrite of an earlier submission. 

Response to two of the novels.  2-3 pages

Anthologies -- (you'll be choosing one of these to read stories to respond to, for submissions 1 & 2)

Some of these are out of print, but there should be plenty of used copies on Amazon for reasonable prices.  If you can’t find them let me know.

The Science Fiction Hall of Fame, Volume One

editor, Robert Silverberg

The Arbor House Treasury of Horror and the Supernatural
Editors,  Pronzini,  Malzberg, Greenberg

Masters of Fantasy

Editors, Carr, Greenberg

Arbor House Treasury of Science Fiction Masterpieces,

Editors, Silverberg, Greenberg

The Oxford Book of Fantasy Stories (Oxford Books of Prose)

editor, Tom Shippey

Author Collections  (pick one to read for submission 3)

The Rhinoceros Who Quoted Nietzsche and Other Odd Acquaintances, Peter S. Beagle

Howard Who?  Howard Waldrop

The Avram Davidson Treasury, Avram Davidson

Black Book, A.S. Byatt

Think Like a Dinosaur and Other Stories, James Patrick Kelly

I Am Legend, Richard Matheson

The Dog Said Bow-Wow, Michael Swanwick

Dreamsongs, Volume 2, George R.R. Martin

Saffron and Brimstone: Strange Stories, Elizabeth Hand

The Essential Ellison, Harlan Ellison

Novels (choose two to read for submission 4)

Doomsday Book, Connie Willis

Last Call, Tim Powers

Carpe Jugulum, Terry Pratchett

Men at Arms, Terry Pratchett

Lords and Ladies, Terry Pratchett

Illumination, Terry McGarry

Deep Six, Jack McDevitt

Mother of Storms, John Barnes

Coraline, Neil Gaiman

Little Big, John Crowley

Old Man's War, John Scalzi

Towing Jehovah, James Morrow

The Dreaming Jewels, Theodore Sturgeon

A Wizard of Earthsea, Ursula K. LeGuin

The Shadow of the Torturer (The Book of the New Sun), Gene Wolfe

The Last Unicorn, Peter S. Beagle

 

The Monster Pauses: Predators

It’s a standard element of horror movies: the Monster Pause. The alien/werewolf/knifeopath has kung-fu reflexes when inhuming secondary characters, but when confronting the main character(s) the mutant/vampire/cannibal slows it’s attack, or pauses dramatically or sadistically, or does a huge wind up to the killing stroke. This allows the protagonist to escape or hit the detonate button or stab the fiendish thingie with a weathervane. (This may also create a moment where the hero/heroine may elocute a final wisecrack through gritted teeth.)

Predators exaggerates the Monster Pause into actual film structure – the foldable-fang-faced predators of the movie gradually slow down their lethalness as the film progresses so that when Adrian Brody, playing a mercenary who might be named Stoic Gravelvoice, has a final confrontation with the last monster, it seems to be stunned into stupidity and slow-motion from recognizing an Oscar winner.

The first thirty minutes of Predators is compelling; a multicultural group of killers and mercs find themselves free-falling into a jungle and gradually figure out that they’ve been relocated to an alien world as the lions for a big game hunt. The cast -- including Brody, Laurence Fishburne, Alice Braga, and Walton Goggins in his credible smirky psycho mode – means that this version is much more watchable than the Schwarzenegger original. The interesting problems of reorientation and survival -- and the possibility that this dangerous bunch of humans might find a way to work together to defeat the predators -- are tossed out and replaced by gore, shock kills, and lots of running about as soon as the hunt begins.

There’s a certain lack of imagination here, sadly common in science fiction films. The speculative setting and concept are just that, not integrated into the plot and the problem-solving that the characters have to deal with. It’s a slasher film on another planet – and sadly that’s what many audience members are happy with.

(And could they have talked to someone about the planetary physics? A leaf spins rapidly in a pool, suggesting a wonky coriolis effect, meaning what? A superfast planetary spin? Then why doesn’t the planet seem to move in relation to the sun --and why then do we finally get night? A look at the sky shows other huge nearby planets – which would cause insane tidal effects – and mean that the jungle would not look like an earthly jungle. And if, as it’s suggested, they’re on a much larger planet than earth, then why aren’t the humans feeling the effects of more gravity?)

But back to the Monster Pause – or in this case the lingering (and possible malingering) of predators. There is no sense to their actions as hunters. They seem to be looking for game that fights back, and the earlier films tell us that they don’t kill the unarmed. But why let the humans get away when they can blast them at any point? And if they want to make it a challenge, why use high tech invisibility screens and energy weapons? You’re already bigger than the humans – grab some spears and go for it. (Which reminds me – one set piece that has potential is the sword battle with the Yakuza assassin versus a predator. This is undermined by having a predator that seems to be moving a lot slower than the human, yet still cutting him up.) They seem to enjoy watching their prey try to survive, panic, and maybe turn on each other, and they’re obviously bloody minded sadists. But their lack of logic seems to be written off as not understandable because they are aliens, or that they are working on evolving their technology through combat, or other such nonsense that is hard to buy.

The hunting and killing are done for effect – each death is a set piece that doesn’t follow any sensible pattern that would actually create suspense. And without suspense we're just left with some nice visuals and tension free action. Contrast this with a film like Aliens, where the creatures hunt to feed and reproduce and don’t pause for their close-ups.

(And another SF issue – the predators are a part of pop-culture now, so we have to accept them as bipedal dreadlocked crab faces with human-like bodies and technology. But does every other alien have to be like something on earth? The hunting “dogs” the predators utilize look like hyenas with spikes all over them. How about a flock of six-winged hoverers with no heads and eye clusters on their bodies? Something that leaps from tree-to-tree with tentacles? Or something that isn’t just something we recognize with stuff pasted all over it.)

I'm required by the FDA ...

... to state that side effects may include: pandiculation, floundering, Big Macs, snurling, camel-toe, hagiolatry, venting of spleen, sophophobia, cat's cradles, friction, doodling, hair cramps, looming, cliches, torpor, dreamlessness, sniffling, and strumpetocracies.

I deny all responsibility for:

soggy French fries, poppy seeds between your teeth, smelly Sci-Fi fans, Lysenkoism, silverfish, homicidal oompa-loompas, overacting, deconstructionists, Dick Cheney, the pox, dudes who call you "bud," buds who call you "dude," dog sweaters, lampreys, deodorant on the outside of your shirt, ghost hunters, frozen nose hairs, and demonic posesssion.

Continuity

I hate when you forget something in chapter three that was really cool and then write something in chapter nine that's just as cool but can't happen if the cool thing in chapter three isn't changed and then you have to decide which cool thing to leave in to allow other specific cool things to happen in the book later. Know what I mean?

I'm not responsible for:

grade inflation, Piltdown Man, prions, Oscar Mayer Lunchables, cane toads, spray tans, urban myths, cold scrambled eggs, Immanuel Velikovsky, Shark Week, interrupted naps, insolent seagulls, sarcosuchus, the extinction of sarcosuchas, salespeople who have read Dale Carnegie, the Borgias, high fructose corn syrup, humidity, the sedan that is tailgating you, and ringtones that play "Tequila."

I'm required by the FDA

to report that side-effects may include: nattering, bloated earlobes, tone-deafness, spelunking, saggy trousers, increased gravity, manscaping, insincerity, rotoscoping, bear-baiting, spine-tingling, inability to stop humming "Horse With No Name," brittle toe-nails, instantaneous cloning, jazz hands, split infinitives, brothel breath, triskaidekaphobia, optimism, geysering mucus, and zombiism.

I'm not responsible for:

dry skin, overcooked steak, particle board, lampreys, the designated hitter rule, kleptomania, rusty nails, whinging, tomfoolery, nanotechnology, silverfish, the Moral Majority, deodorant body spray, lederhosen, the defenestrations of Prague, postmodernism, tubas, and the popping sounds that your knees make when you stand up.

Happy Bloomsday

"Mr Leopold Bloom ate with relish the inner organs of beasts and fowls. He liked thick giblet soup, nutty gizzards, a stuffed roast heart, liverslices fried with crustcrumbs, fried hencods' roes. Most of all he liked grilled mutton kidneys which gave to his palate a fine tang of faintly scented urine.

Kidneys were in his mind as he moved about the kitchen softly, righting her breakfast things on the humpy tray. Gelid light and air were in the kitchen but out of doors gentle summer morning everywhere. Made him feel a bit peckish.

The coals were reddening.

Another slice of bread and butter: three, four: right. She didn't like her plate full. Right. He turned from the tray, lifted the kettle off the hob and set it sideways on the fire. It sat there, dull and squat, its spout stuck out. Cup of tea soon. Good. Mouth dry. The cat walked stiffly round a leg of the table with tail on high.

—Mkgnao!

—O, there you are, Mr Bloom said, turning from the fire.

The cat mewed in answer and stalked again stiffly round a leg of the table, mewing. Just how she stalks over my writingtable. Prr. Scratch my head. Prr."

"...and the fowl market all clucking outside Larby Sharons and the poor donkeys slipping half asleep and the vague fellows in the cloaks asleep in the shade on the steps and the big wheels of the carts of the bulls and the old castle thousands of years old yes and those handsome Moors all in white and turbans like kings asking you to sit down in their little bit of a shop and Ronda with the old windows of the posadas 2 glancing eyes a lattice hid for her lover to kiss the iron and the wineshops half open at night and the castanets and the night we missed the boat at Algeciras the watchman going about serene with his lamp and O that awful deepdown torrent O and the sea the sea crimson sometimes like fire and the glorious sunsets and the figtrees in the Alameda gardens yes and all the queer little streets and the pink and blue and yellow houses and the rosegardens and the jessamine and geraniums and cactuses and Gibraltar as a girl where I was a Flower of the mountain yes when I put the rose in my hair like the Andalusian girls used or shall I wear a red yes and how he kissed me under the Moorish wall and I thought well as well him as another and then I asked him with my eyes to ask again yes and then he asked me would I yes to say yes my mountain flower and first I put my arms around him yes and drew him down to me so he could feel my breasts all perfume yes and his heart was going like mad and yes I said yes I will Yes."

From, Ulysses

I'm required by the FDA

to report that side-effects may include: numbness in the extremities and trunk and legs and forehead, hair loss, memory loss, fluid loss, flaky skin, bleeding tear ducts, incontinence, tossing and turning, impatience with telemarketers, chattering teeth, nipple implosion, toe cramps, synesthesia, erratic dactyls, knee bloating, sleight of hand, ants-in-the-pants, and yodeling.

Found Objects: Worst Band Name Ever

I'm not responsible for:

bull sharks, melted mallomars, stripped bolts, baked potato-chips, the national anthem, chewing tobacco, torn cuticles, VH1 shows, demonic possession, hotel coffee, orgone therapy, sidewalk bike riders, and the Children's Crusade.

Bone Machine

Happy Halloween

photos from the White Mountains

11 Observations from under a haircut

So, cut off my long hair last August -- so looking decidedly un-hippy these days. (And in case you were going to ask, I cut it off because it was too hot in the summer time and annoying when doing anything in the great outdoors. Briars caught in it and woodland creatures nested in it...) Here's what I've noticed since losing my long, flowing locks:  

1) I get better seats in restaurants.  

2) People tell me I look younger.  

3) Random women no longer play with my hair in line at Dunkin' Donuts or Starbucks. 4) I don't get friendly nods from other guys with beards and pony-tails these days. I think we were an informal club.  

5) People are less likely to shout "Sasquatch!" and take blurry photos of me as I pass. 6) No one asks me if I have any weed to sell any more.  

7) My students think I'm meaner than I used to be.  

8) My receding hairline is no longer receding. Conclusion: tying my hair back was making me lose hair.  

9) I have to trim my beard more often or I look like Crazy-Hillbilly-Guy.  

10) So far I'm out almost three hundred dollars in haircuts.

11) My Jesus-Pez-dispenser impression is much less funny than it once was.